all those friends who are preggo are not an indication of me. at least not right now.
i broke down and bought a pregnancy test. a BIG FAT NEGATIVE. what a shock, right? and it was a loud-and-clear invitation for aunt flo to make her appearance, so i’m just twiddling my thumbs waiting for her arrival…
on the way home, after buying the test, i was working myself into a frenzy, thinking about how i would feel if it was positive. how i would tell jerry - wait till he gets home from work, with some elaborate surprise, or call him right away? when i would tell my mom. what i would post if it was positive. i had all sorts of ideas, which i will save for the day it actually happens.
please continue to pray for me.

we had sex last night.
i was thinking the other day how cool it would be to get pregnant on my birthday (dec. 18) and deliver the baby on jerry’s birthday (sept. 30). wouldn’t that be AWESOME?! but you know, things never work out like you plan anyway. it would just be incredible.
i know that all children we have will be just as loved, wanted and adored as jeremiah is. but i can’t help but feel they might feel less-special than him, just because we prayed and waited for him so long. i know personally i will love our other children just as much (tho i know every love is different, the amount of love will be the same) even if we conceive immediately. but i just pray they feel it.
for the longest time, i wanted a boy next, so jeremiah could have a best buddy. now i am leaning towards a girl. but, again, whatever i get will be a major blessing!! i am just excited to see what the Lord has in store for our little family. how big will he grow our family to be? i have friends who are pregnant with their fifth child. will i get that someday?
i am going to make a list of my ttc pals and preggo pals and put their names on my sidebar. if you’d like me to add you, please let me know. hopefully soon, the list will be all preggo pals! also, the praying for a baby clique that i created will soon be a praying for a baby RING. i am moving all the cliques and fancliques over to the ring server. it’s taking a while but anyway.
i signed up for fertility friends. i’d heard people talk about it, but never tried it before. according to it, my fertile window this month is this sat, sun, and mon. which would be GREAT except we’re planning to go visit jerry’s mom in michigan. we’ll be staying at her HOUSE. can’t really have sex on my mother-in-law’s couch, now can i??? we really need to go see her tho because she hasn’t met jeremiah yet. maybe we can have sex before we leave and as soon as we get back. LOL. i wish we could afford a hotel room, but seriously, in december, before Christmas and before jeremiah’s birthday? i don’t think so!! we already barely have any money.
prayers and blessings!!

i just wanted to let everyone know i am turning off the mail function. it sends the whole message even when i am posting a password protected post, and that annoys me! for those who looked forward to getting it in the mail, i’m sorry.
i’m hoping to find something to let you receive an email that just says the beginning part or something, and then has the url to the CORRECT post so you can go to the site. i’m hoping that if you have me blogrolled, it will show up that i have made a new post. does it work for you? that’s the way i try to keep updated on my friends’ blogs, but it doesn’t always show up that they’ve posted.
i have started a new ttc journal, but it’s pw protected. if you would like the pw please comment on here that you would (you must include a working email so i can write back to you). i will reply with the pw. please note that i will probably only give you the pw if you have commented in the past, or if i know who you are personally. sorry if that makes anyone mad, but i have to protect myself somehow.
what an exciting time for me….starting Miracle #2!!!
oh i forgot to mention, jeremiah has been really fascinated with his hands lately. he’ll just stare at his palm, touch it, like he’s reading his palm or something lol. so i have started counting fingers a lot more with him. he gets such a giggle out of it! he’ll point at each finger and pretend to count with me now too. he wants to do it on my hands as well. so cute!
also, how on earth did i mention the fact that our washing machine leaked AGAIN?? thankfully jerry didn’t put all the flooring back down, or else he would have had to take it all out again. unbelievable. hopefully it’s fixed once and for all this time.
God bless!

well i’m starting a ttc journal within gibberish. i’m calling it “Miracle #2″, though you’ll never see that anywhere. since this is december, the month we decided to make our second journey ‘official’, it’s only fitting that i start a new journal. i think about how long jeremiah’s journal was up - for about two years. hard to believe.
i pray this one quickly turns into a pregnancy journal!! jeremiah will make such a wonderful big brother, i think. jerry and i are ready for another child. jeremiah is so wonderful, sweet, and gorgeous, how could we not want to have another?
we had sex last night. (i am going to record this on here, just in case i forget to write it down. so i’m sorry if it’s too much info for anyone! be assured i won’t go into any details. ;))
i really don’t think anything will happen this week, because i feel like i’m going to start my period. bleck. oh well. might as well try to start with a clean slate, right?
i am feeling mixed emotions about this whole ttc again. on one hand, i feel totally positive about it. i mean, the Lord blessed us with jeremiah, so that means He will probably bless us again. the other side of me feels that maybe it was a one-time thing, because there were SO MANY prayers going up about getting pregnant with him. will our next children have as many prayers behind him/her? i sure hope so. i know WE are praying hard about it!!!!
there are some who feel infertility is something that is cured once and for all with prayers. i don’t know about that. i don’t know if i was healed completely, or if the Lord just allowed one egg to be normal and meet up with a great sperm. because since my cycle has come back, i have felt really crampy and gross again - just like i used to at all times because of the pcos. it’s like a million little cysts inside me, vying for my attention or something. last month, the right side was more painful. this month, it’s the left side. anyway, all debates aside, i am confident jeremiah will have siblings. i will have other children. just as i ALWAYS knew i would have a child, i know i will have MORE children. it’s just the whole timing of it. i will be content if it’s another 2 years to have another baby, but i won’t be thrilled about it. i always wanted my kids really closely spaced.
oh well. it’s strange not to write “enough about that” - that’s all this is for! hehe.
i really would like to get working on a lullaby album. it would be great to have it done by the time i have another baby. which means i need to write a few more ‘personalized’ songs. jeremiah has one, jalia has one, so i also need one for josiah and one for joyana - i have decided i love that name. the other night i dreamed i had a daughter named joyana (joy - ah - nah) elizabeth and i called her yana for a nickname. kind of cute - mi-mi and yana. tho i still am not sure if jalia annemarie or joyana elizabeth will be our first girl yet. if we find out we’re pregnant with a girl, i will put up a voting poll. i know those will be our girls’ names, but the order is the only thing. i still also like jenia gabrielle and joria something (used to be elizabeth). how about joria abigail? that’s cute. anyway. as for another boy, after josiah benjamin we are really unsure. i was thinking javariah daniel or javariah samuel, but i’m not sure how the world would view the name javariah. i think cheryl’s right and it kind of looks feminine. i may end up using jonah, though i didn’t want to, since josiah and jonah both have ‘jo’. but who knows.
here i am rambling on like i’m going to have 8 kids. not that i wouldn’t love that, but anyway!!!
need to get going now.
please pray for our second blessing!

okay people you are NOT going to believe this one. it even boggles the mind of this mama who did it.
lack of sleep, lack of food, and lack of braincells contribute to this one.

i was planning to go to a garage sale where they were giving out stuff for FREE. i was extremely excited about it, as they were to have baby items. well, at 12:30 i started the van, to cool down before baby boo and i were to get in. did a quick nurse-attempt, which was denied because boo wasn’t hungry. (in case you’re wondering, jerry calls jeremiah boo now and it has stuck with me more than usual today for some reason.) well, when i was done trying to nurse and was all snapped up and back in the living room, boo in arms, ready to leave, at 12:37, my friend amanda called to tell me that the garage sale was a bust. there was nothing of interest to her, but if i wanted to make the trek out there to see for myself to go ahead. well, if there weren’t baby clothes that she wanted, i’m sure there wouldn’t have been any that i’d want. so i didn’t go. went about my day, playing with boo, looking at jerry’s new logo, fiddling around with things on here while jerry took a shower, nursed boo to sleep, trimmed his toe and fingernails, put him in his crib, started in on the nice butternut squash (not beechnut squash, as i called it for some unknown reason) to make into baby food, put chicken on the grill for lunch, worked more on the squash (it’s a big sucker!) and then heard jeremiah wake up. by now it’s 2:30. the time jerry leaves for work. i’m in jeremiah’s room with him, we tell papa bye-bye, papa lets us each nibble on his apple, and off jerry goes. but then jerry comes back in. and as soon as he did, it hit me. he didn’t even say a word. “OH NO!” i said.

THE VAN WAS STILL RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :no::sad::eek::no::sad::eek::no::sad::eek::no::sad::eek::no::sad::eek::no::sad::eek:

yes folks, for about 2 hours my poor van was running, with the air conditioner on. i can’t believe it myself. i am in shock that my brain backfired this much.

i still sit here, ten minutes later, mystified that it happened. sure, i put the lettuce in the freezer when i was pregnant with boo, but this is different.

which brings me to another thing.

i hadn’t wanted to mention this, because i don’t want to look dumb, but i’m getting a pregnancy test taken. i have been sick to my stomach, peeing like mad, and not sleeping well because of comfortability issues, ones i haven’t had since i’ve given birth. this and the lack of braincells makes me wonder….

wouldn’t that be a hoot? nearly 3 years of trying for boo, and not really trying at all for baby2? it would be a miracle, i say. we plan to officially start ttc in december, but anytime we conceive we’ll be thrilled. well jerry will be thrilled once he gets up off the floor. the poor man IS already working two jobs.

which brings me to another thing. anyone who has any home business ideas for me to try, let me know. i am very capable at website stuff, and would love to do that. make graphics for people, design websites, anything like that. i want to be able to contribute financially somehow. whether i am pregnant now or not.

jeremiah has been standing alone for longer and longer increments, still only seconds at a time, but still! i am very impressed by him! he is very proud of himself too. he looks at us like, wow, i’m doing this??

my chicken is done so i’m going to eat.
God bless!!!

is there something in everyone else’s water that i’m not getting? people are popping up pregnant all over. i am of course happy for them, but sad for me.
i haven’t seen anyone around this site or my other site in quite some time. i wonder what the deal is. well, i’m not going to write anymore today because i feel gloomy and i don’t want gloomy posts!!!!
love and blessings,
jenn

blessed sunday everyone!

we had a great sermon today. of course i can’t go into great detail, since i’m not a pastor and i didn’t memorize his sermon, i wanted to share a few thoughts from it.

we are discussing grace. the true depth and meaning of the word. we often take it for granted, and don’t take it seriously enough.

the analogy is that sin is our master, and shame is his wife. even though Jesus has set us free, we still feel held captive to sin and shame! grace is the president who FREES us by signing our emancipation proclamation. all we have to do is realize this and move on!

i can’t do the sermon justice, but as soon as the pastor gets his sermons typed out, i’m going to post it in full. it was great. of course the main scripture of today was most of romans 6. i love paul’s writing! he is so deep, but everything he says is totally simple to understand. God really blessed him with the gift of teaching.

i can’t remember if i mentioned the dresser we were given…a friend of mine from high school is moving to arizona and can’t take his dresser. so he asked if we wanted it, and we really needed one, so we said yes. he brought it over the other day, and it was in pretty bad shape. old, scraped up, etc. (i wish i’d taken a picture!) we decided to sand it down right then. the next day, i bought stain, so we stained it that night. yesterday we put polyeurothane (sp) on it, and now it’s dry and beautiful and ready to go. i’m taking a pic of it, but since our digital camera doesn’t work well, i’m using the standard cam, so i won’t be able to post it until we get back from vacation. i just thought i’d let everyone know that we got a great blessing in that gift! watching all the remodeling on trading spaces helped us with the fixing up part! lol.

well, we start our vacation tomorrow. not sure if we’ll be using the computer for the week. please still post on the guestbook or tagboard while i’m gone - i would love to see that i was missed! lol. i get to meet jen from Cobblestone Lane and i’m VERY excited about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she is my absolute best friend online, and one of my best friends in the world!!!!!!!!!!! we’re both excited AND nervous about meeting, so keep us in your prayers! it will be on wednesday that we meet.

pray for journey blessings, and a fun, relaxing time! we also are praying to get pregnant during this time, so pray extra long for that!

God bless you all! have a super-duper-blessing-filled week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so i haven’t been posting. but i don’t think it matters much, since no one reads this blog at all yet.
i have been doing really well being positive. i’ve been very hungry with the new eating obstacles, since it’s easier to just snack on carbs than it is to snack on protein.

the new med is working fine. no bad side effects so far.
well, we are going on vacation in a couple of weeks. i’m very excited. i hope to be able to conceive that week, since IF i am ovulating again it would be the week for conception. pray for us, if anyone is reading this! lol.

i’m posting lots on jenn’s journey lately, so that takes away from here. but it doesn’t change my desire for a baby. i’m very excited now - i know i’m going to be a mama…i just wonder when it will be.

God bless you! and if you’re here - let me know!!!

well, i have been waiting a few days to hear back from the dr. about my meds, and i called again to find something out. jerry says ‘oh, i forgot to tell you - the dr said your meds should be ready to be picked up’.

i said, ‘when was this? monday?’

‘yeah.’

ggggrrrrrrr! men!!!!

so today i have to go pick it up. i hope it’s nicer to me than the glucophage was.

as for the diet, it seems to be going ok. i am starting to feel better. the only thing is, i get really hungry really soon. like, before, i would get hungry and then fix dinner soon, and be fine. NOW if i get hungry, i have to eat immediately! the food needs to be almost ready because i’m starving within minutes of just being hungry. crazy, huh?

ok, i think that’s it for now.

God bless!

i still have the *ahem* problem i mentioned yesterday.
i called the doc office and asked if it was normal, and if so, how long it would last.
the nurse told me to go the weekend without taking any meds, and see how i feel on monday.
if i feel better, the dr will prescribe something else. if i don’t feel better, it may be my sudden diet change. (you know, all the protein, and holding off on the carbs).
anyhow, i thought i would update!
God bless,
jenn