i was just reading old posts, from the time i was pregnant with jamin. they were very similar. i was in the same situation then. just as miserable. i don’t know, it’s possible it’s worse this time. it sure feels like it. it was about 16 weeks that i seemed to turn the corner with his pregnancy. i pray that happens with this one too. i’m nearly 12 weeks now, and 4 more weeks doesn’t seem that bad, in the grand scheme of things. it was funny to read that i was SURE we weren’t having any more kids after jamin. lol.

right now i still have the zofran pump all the time, and i also have an iv hooked up for hydration. i feel a little better with that, but i still don’t feel great. going into the kitchen still sends me vomiting. it’s also really hard to do anything at all (even if i had the energy) with the boys with wires all over your body, and an iv to drag around. the stairs are really fun.

i’m really sorry i’m so depressing anymore. i’m honestly so depressed that i don’t even want to post anything, but i want there to be something written about this pregnancy.

i feel baby bless moving a lot. i’ve been trying to remember to rub my tummy and speak to baby, because i just feel so sick i forget WHY i’m so sick. i love this baby so much. i do not want to resent him/her in any way.

this IS our last baby this time. it is. 4 is it. i honestly could not go through it again. i love each of my babies so much. i would do anything for them. it’s not fair to them or to my hubby to put myself through this again.

please keep praying for us. it’s a real struggle to get through each day. the church is helping, but there are still lots of gaps that need to be filled. pray specifically for my spiritual and emotional health.

love you all!

i really like this site, and this links directly to info for friends and family of HG victims.

http://www.helpher.org/family/

i just got a call from the home health provider, and the insurance is covering 100% of the zofran pump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please send a praise up to God for His provision!!!!!!!!

well i’m writing after a long blog absence to admit that things are really bad right now. the hyperemesis is kicking my butt. i’m not winning, and my insurance company isn’t helping, as they can’t give me the zofran i need.

thankfully, today my dr had some zofran samples (that someone brought in last week) and he feels that we should have a home health care person bring me zofran and hydration fluids by iv to our home. i’m not sure if it will be every other day or what. we’re waiting to hear from the company if the insurance company is going to ok this. maybe they’ll realize how sick i really am once they get that request.

the house is falling apart = well i take that back, since jerry won’t LET it fall apart. but it’s very hard on him right now. he really wishes this pregnancy hadn’t happened. he is depressed and stressed and i don’t blame him. this is soooo hard. i feel that i can barely get the bare minimum done for being a mother. the kids stay in their pajamas most days, and haven’t had a real meal in weeks. cooking anything is not possible. even microwaving things is hard on me.

i was googling today “how to survice hyperemesis” and got a few neat sites. it made me feel not so alone in this! i’m not crazy, this is real, and it STINKS.

i’m almost to the point of taking up someone’s offer at having the boys in childcare. of course no one’s offered that…i think it was in a dream.

please pray. i don’t know how long it will last this time…but i’m at the breaking point, and so is jerry.

in case anyone closeby is reading, the following would be helpful:

watching the boys for any amount of time so i can rest. in my house, at the park, at your house, whatever.

meals.

help with laundry.

help with housecleaning.

moral support.

grocery shopping.

I did them each separately so they didn’t know each other’s answers.
Jeremiah, 5
Josiah, 3 and a half

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Je: i’m sick

Jo: i love you

2. What makes mom happy?
Je: when i hug you

Jo: loving you

3. What makes mom sad?
Je: when you’re sick

Jo: when i say i don’t love you anymore

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Je: when you make funny faces

Jo: telling stories

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Je: a baby

Jo: girl hair things!

6. How old is your mom?
Je: 25 years old

Jo: uh FOUR!

7. How tall is your mom?
Je: 40 feet

Jo: little. just little.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Je: work on the computer

Jo: playing

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
Je: go to sleep

Jo: work on the computer

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Je: basketball

Jo: loving

11. What is your mom really good at?
Je: working on the computer

Jo: at the computer

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Je: cutting apples

Jo: hitting me

13. What does your mom do for a job?
Je: read books to us

Jo: working on the computer
14. What is your mom’s favorite food?
Je: pizza

Jo: mustard — ????
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Je: when she gives me her food

Jo: hugging
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Je: jasmine

Jo: giselle
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Je: play

Jo: eat
18. How are you and your mom the same?
Je: we wear the same clothes

Jo: we both like hugging

19. How are you and your mom different?
Je: when we wear different clothes

Jo: our eyes

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Je: because she gives me so many hugs every day

Jo: hugging
21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Je: because he’s your husband

Jo: hugging

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
Je: NOT at the dr! at the park

Jo: dr