jeremiah pointed tonight! with his actual index finger! and he has been working on it off and on all night since! so cute!
he is the biggest ‘pretender’ around. he loves to pretend to ‘drink’ out of cups, he loves to pretend to ‘eat’ nothing or toys, and he loves to have mama and papa and gramma and grampa drink and eat too. it is so cute!
he loves to ‘run’ around the house. it’s precious! and he likes to go around naked sometimes after diaper changes now. (which is the video that i don’t want to post but if you ask me i will show it to you.) so adorable.
we were going to cut his hair tonight, as it’s really long and scraggly, but neither of us can bring ourselves to do it!! how does one go about cutting their baby’s hair? not that i’m scared i’ll cut him or anything, but just that it will be his first haircut, and there’s only one first haircut.
oh julie reminded me about snapfish. i almost forgot i could put the pics on there for folks to see. duh, jenn. it’s been so long…
he is also infatuated with kc’s toys. the poor dog has like 5 toys to jeremiah’s 205, and jeremiah wants his! sigh. it’s not only GROSS, but it’s not fair to kc. so we are trying to nip it in the bud. kc can’t play with mi-mi’s toys, so mi-mi can’t play with dog-dog’s toys. ;D as you can imagine, it’s not going over well for either. did i mention the two are best buds now? when kc is in trouble and penned in his cage (the other day it was for growling at jeremiah), jeremiah will go to the cage and knock on the door, saying ‘dog-dog’ sadly until we think it’s pitiful enough to let kc out. then jeremiah is all happy and all is right with the world.
we are truly blessed. my cup runneth over.

does anyone else get tired of making up titles for their posts? sometimes i don’t even feel like posting because i don’t know what to title it! pretty sad, huh? this post is about lots of different things, so it may end up really long. bear with me!
i hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving celebration! ours was very nice, full of thankfulness and blessings. it was small - only my brother, his girlfriend, mom, dad, jerry, jeremiah and i were there. i miss the big thanksgivings, with so many people you didn’t know where you’d sit…but it’s been a long time since we’ve been to one like that. it used to be at one of my mom’s cousin’s house. but still, it was nice to have a quiet thanksgiving dinner. jeremiah was such fun on his first-ever thanksgiving! he ate pureed turkey (tho he hated it! he hardly ate any), cranberry sauce pieces, sweet potato pieces, mashed potatoes, and whatever else anyone would let him have. i want to show you the outfit he was wearing but i’m working on too many things at the moment to open the photo editor to get it down to size. it’s sort of like overalls, with a bear wearing an indian outfit. VERY cute. mom got it at a garage sale i think. the only problem with it was it has no snappies! i’m pretty sure it is homemade and no one considered snappies. anyway, the food and the company were great. but we didn’t get as many leftovers as we’d like! i think jerry and i will have to have turkey again soon. i LOVE turkey.
thursday was a slow day. mom and i actually went to k-mart and were very disappointed in the deals. what deals? got a few things tho. friday my mom came over to watch jeremiah for a while so i could get some stuff at grampa’s house. and i don’t even remember anything i did on saturday. just hung out with jeremiah.
yesterday i was going to sing a solo in church (be still and know by steven curtis chapman - love it) but we got there two minutes after church had started. i like to be there a few minutes early to run through a song, so i didn’t sing it. and starting next week, i think all the solos will be Christmas ones, so it will probably be january by the time i can sing this song. oh well, i can be well-rehearsed, right?
we also got jeremiah’s 10mo pics taken yesterday. again, i want to show you the outfit he was wearing. it was too cute! another one mom found at a garage sale! we decided to go to jc penney’s again. and once again, i was a little disappointed. i think the biggest complaint is the wait. we are booked for a certain time and don’t end up being seen until half an hour or more later! and then we still have to come back twenty minutes later to even VIEW the pics! at least it was better than last time tho. he did smile nicely for one of the pics, and almost smiled on another, but a few of them were quite precious despite no smiles. unfortunately, he actually cried during this sitting. the lady tried to convince me it would be CUTE to have pics of my son crying. i did get one of him with sort of teary eyes, but he wasn’t full-on crying like some of them. overall they were ok, but we will be going to target from now on (for two more months). jerry asked me yesterday, on the way to the photo session, “so are we going to do this every month for the rest of his life, or what?” i assured him that we would probably do it once or twice a year after january. of course, every new baby will have pics taken once a month and jeremiah will be in one of those sessions with the baby probably every three months or so. i also want to have at least one photo session when i’m pregnant, with jeremiah in the pics kissing my belly or something. i have seen those types of pics and they are so precious!
while we were waiting to see the pics, we went down to the mall area and jeremiah played in the play area for the first time. i was wondering how he would do, since he has such stranger anxiety. but he did wonderfully! he walked around bravely. he stood there watching all the kids. he explored. he went to the book area to read books. it was wonderful! he didn’t get scared or upset once!! i decided i’m going to try to take him there at least once a week. much fun!
we are going through the ads finding deals for things we would like to get jeremiah for Christmas and his birthday. tho we are only getting him 3 Christmas gifts, no one said we can’t get his birthday gifts early! we really want him to have a rocking chair, but hopefully we won’t need to buy one. mom said she still thinks she has my old one! it’s an bright yellow, but we would paint it red probably (to match his room….which reminds me, i still haven’t shown you guys the house pics yet…oops!). if she doesn’t have it anymore, we might make it a birthday gift. we also either want to get him the walking pooh or the walking elmo. he was rivited watching both of their commercials.
did anyone see the Christmas carol last night? i was so impressed! it was a brand new version of it all and jerry and i really really enjoyed it.
jerry is pulling at my arm to get me off here, but i wanted to ask if anyone wants to see a very cute video that i don’t want to post, please let me know.
God bless!!

we are celebrating today at my parents’ house, since jerry works tomorrow. so i wanted to go ahead and wish everyone a very happy thanksgiving!! it’s not the day we celebrate, it’s WHAT we celebrate, don’t you think? i am so thankful for everything we have been given. the Lord has been SO good to us!
i am thankful for my wonderful husband, and the jobs he is able to have to let me stay home with our baby.
i am thankful for my precious son, who has made our lives so full and perfect!
i am thankful for our new house, that is a major blessing and special treat.
i am thankful for my parents, who have been so supportive and helpful with the house, as well as with their first grandchild. they are really wonderful!
i am thankful for my brothers and my sister in law who have been great helps concerning the house too.
i’m thankful for all my friends, online and in real life, who are so very dear to me.
i am thankful for our country, those who protect our country, and that a prayerful president is again in office.
i am thankful for another year of life. for my salvation.
thank You, Lord!!!

–

i have been working on my lullaby list, and have more songs now! i have written a few more and found others. i am REALLY excited about this. so far manda has said she would like to buy one (oh and i am working on a lullaby song just for sarrah - and it’s pretty good too imo!), kathy wants to at least hear it, and sherah is buying 7, right she? ;). anyone else interested in buying a lullaby cd from yours truly? oh and i am thinking of a different title now. ~*~DREAMLAND~*~ Love Songs for Sleepy Times. what do you think??? so far i have about 9 original songs (some are incomplete). isn’t that exciting? i sure think so. do you realize how great it could be if i could sell my own lullaby albums online??? making my own lullaby album has been a dream of mine for a LONG time. could it really finally be a reality?! please Lord, make it so!

—-

i have an official walker. now that he walks more than he crawls, i think we can go ahead and call him a toddler. a TODDLER. i am really not ready for my 10mo old to be a toddler guys. he is still so much my little baby, and yet so grown up. he does things every day that remind me i need to let him grow up into the little man he’s becoming and not just hold him back. you know how little kids like to hold toy cups to their lips and pretend they are drinking? he always holds a stacking cup toy to my lips, and i pretend slurp. then he’ll smile, take it to his lips and do a really big SNIFF. LOLOL because he doesn’t know how to pretend to slurp, but he can pretend to sniff. it’s SO cute. but the other day he did it and i was almost stunned like, oh my goodness. this is the kind of thing the toddlers in my old childcare classes did. he is NOT old enough to do this….but yes, he is. he is almost one year old. and that is NOT right. i know i’ve said it a million times, but it’s not fair that the pregnancy seems to last three years and the first year of life flies by in about a month, it seems. i want him to stay my baby forever. as much as i love every new thing he does, just STOP GROWING UP! it’s no wonder the baby bug has bitten - who could have thought my original plan to ttc in december would have been so on time. and now i keep thinking about what kind of a big brother he will be. will he be as sweet and sharing to his little sibling? or will his selfish side, that wants mama and papa to himself, come out? probably a little of both. but i know he will be a GOOD, FUN, SWEET big brother, to his sister or brother. and i’m so excited to work on making one for him. ;D honestly, we are so blessed with him. he is just an incredible little boy. everything i have ever wanted in a son. i pray he continues to grow in love and sweetness. we sure love him more than life itself.

does anyone else watch the swan? when i first watched it, i hated it. but the last few nights i really enjoyed it. last week they hooked me in with the sisters. today i watched because of the cancer find. i really liked both episodes. my favorite is still the sister from last week tho.
it made me think about the things i would have done if i were on the swan. want to know? oh well i’ll tell ya anyway.
lasix surgery
teeth veneers (my tooth enamel is almost non-existant and my teeth hurt all the time)
nose job
eyebrow lift
major weight training (lose 50lbs)
tummy tuck
erase stretch marks

now this is only if i went on something like that. the two normal changes in myself i want are the teeth veneers - healthwise it eventually needs to be done and weight loss, which is also a health issue.

also i have watched the $25mil hoax. this last episode was so great. that family is INCREDIBLE. the parents especially. i am so happy for them.

i found out today that i may be able to make my lullaby album! for real!!! i am busily working on the list of songs i want, and maybe i’ll even write a few more!!! i would like about 20 songs on it, but 15 might be enough. don’t know. i know i asked a couple years ago if anyone would be interested in buying such a thing from me, and got a nice response, but now that it’s more of a reality, who would still be interested?? i am thinking of the title sleepytime love songs. does that sound dumb, like it’s for couples, or does it sound like a lullaby album?? be honest here. for now, the song list is as follows : (* indicates written by me)
1-jeremiah*
2-jalia*
3-joy of my heart*
4-Jesus loves medley (Jesus loves the little children/Jesus loves me)
5-close your eyes (formerly precious child)*
6-hush little baby - will have new lyrics
7-all night, all day (angels watching over me)
8-all throught the night
9-rock-a-bye baby - will have new lyrics
10-lullabye and goodnight (brahams lullaby)
11-as hannah would say (or just like hannah, not sure which it should be called)*
12-sleep baby sleep
13-all the pretty little horses
14-Lord of the morning*
15-you are my sunshine - probably with additional lyrics

that’s all for now. the ones i didn’t write are copyright/royalty free as far as i am aware. if they are not, please let me know. also, if there are any other copytright/royalty free songs (that would be FREE to record and sell) that you think would go well on a lullaby album (they don’t have to be real lullabies - soft, appropriate hymns are nice too) please let me know.

God bless and night night!!!

jeremiah is back to his old sonshiney-self. he has been walking SO much more since the tubes as well. i have heard many people say their balance was off before having tubes, so i’m wondering if that’s what happened with him? even tho his balance never seemed bad before. ??
i had the toughest time getting the plugs in his ears for bathtime. he’s not allowed to have water in his ears. they gave me these silicone plugs that are supposed to form fit to his ear. well, he must have a strange-shaped ear because it wouldn’t work for him. i finally got them to stay in, but i still don’t think they were in correctly. at least water didn’t get in, and that’s what matters.
he got his sixth tooth today! the top right incisor. so i wonder what tooth will be next?
i have dated and labeled a bunch of videos! i need to get them all online but i have one that you HAVE to see (oh remember it’s the same old username and pw): walking to camera. please tell me if you can see it. because of my slow connection it won’t work for me.
i am SO tired. i need to get some things done before i lie down for an early night.
have a blessed Sunday, everyone!!!
God bless!

well the tubes are in. and let me say, it was probably the WORST experience of my life. jeremiah was a total doll before the surgery, even tho he was hungry. several times he came to me with his nursing face and noise, and i had to hand him over to my mom or jerry, because how can i refuse a hungry baby like that?!?! right before the surgery, they gave him medicine that is supposed to make him zone out and calm down.
but they came and got him before it had the full effect, so he was crying when they took him from me (broke my heart). they had said it would be 15 to 20 minutes before he was done, so jerry and i went to get something to eat. my mom was still in the room, and they were supposed to page us when he was done, or if they needed us. they got done sooner than we’d thought, and we’d also gotten kind of lost trying to find the food court, so we were gone longer too. when we got in there, jeremiah was ok, but his face was bright red, and he’d been bawling his eyes out. stupid me, i thought i could comfort him more, but i got him all worked up again. so he was screaming and crying and needing to go from one person to the next. he acted like he was mad at me and wouldn’t nurse for anything. i still wonder if he was upset because he couldn’t nurse before and i was the one who handed him over to the nurse.
anyway, he kept getting calm then would grow irate again.
so why was it the worst experience of my life? because my baby was in the most pain i’d ever seen him. he was inconsolable and there was nothing i could do! jerry and i were both in tears when we could do nothing for him.
when we were finally able to leave, he was fine. he is now doing ok, almost his normal self. he nursed fine once we were home. he’s still a bit on the whiny side, but who can blame him? i pray it was worth it and his ears improve!!
thanks for all your prayers - they meant a lot to us!!!!!! continue to pray for his healing.
hugs and blessings from a worn-out, emotionally spent, but blessed mama.

dear jeremiah,
i cannot believe you are ten months old today. it seems like time is flying by at the speed of light. in two short months, you will have been in my arms for a whole year! that does not seem possible to me!
every day your papa and i love you more. you always surprise us with something, whether it be your sweetest nature to your orneriest behaviors! you are definitely your mama’s child! one minute you can be the sweetest thing, huggy, snuggly and totally amiable, the next you are throwing a fit because something didn’t go your way. i’m so ashamed to admit that i’m just like that!! i hope that we can help calm that temper down a bit and get your focus off yourself and onto others. though you do seem to have much of your papa’s gentle, giving nature in you as well. i’m sure your emotions will battle with each other for all of your life. mama has had the same problem! i pray that the Holy Spirit guides your gentler side and that you are more caring and giving than your mama has been so often. i wouldn’t want you to make the same selfish mistakes i have.
some of the fun things you’ve been showing us this month:
walking! though you don’t walk all the time, as i’d talked you into believing the other day, you do walk a lot, and it’s SO cute! you toddle around so assuradly…sometimes you surprise us at how fast you can go! you surprise yourself as well, and usually plop right down on your cute little bottom!
talking! your babbles are turning into more and more words every day. your favorites are still mama, dada, dogdog and duckduck but you now say nana (nah-nah), and i am pretty sure you mean gramma!! it is SO CUTE! gramma is really proud and happy about it.
drinking from a cup! mama has stopped giving you any bottles except at night time. you do fine drinking from a sippy except when you’re tired, so mama is still letting you hang on to at least one bottle for the day. but when you have juice, water or formula in your cup at meals, you do WONDERFULLY and there’s usually not a drop left!
sharing! this month you have really started to share your things. you share your food, your drinks, your toys, everything. it is so sweet to see. what a wonderful, giving boy you are!
brushing teeth! we have been brushing your teeth for months and months now, but you are now really getting into it. you like to hold the toothbrush yourself now and would carry it around everywhere with you if mama let you. and i am tempted, but the thought of you falling and ramming it up your throat outweighs the temptation!
knowing no! you DEFINITELY know what no means now. not that you always listen. in fact, you usually don’t until the 3rd of 4th time. but you know what it means, so we know that you are teachable. when we tell you no the first time, you either ignore us or you giggle with that ornery grin. redirection is tried, but usually ignored. you usually head back to the scene of the crime! when we tell you no the second time the same thing usually occurs. the third time, which is followed by a smack of your hand, you either wrinkle up your little nose and whine, you stick out your lower lip and cry or you laugh. i guess it depends on your mood. anything after that you receive a swat on the bottom, and that you really dislike. but that’s ok, because no matter what, when you disobey, we always remind you that you are very loved. you know that we don’t accept or approve of disobedience, and i know you’ll get it one of these days. we can’t expect you to behave like an adult when you’re not even one yet!
eating more! for awhile, you were eating less and were very fussy about eating. you are finally eating more all around - breastmilk, formula (when offered), fruit, veggies, meats, crackers, anything we throw at ya, you love! i think you’re hitting a growth spurt, because you’re seeming a tad on the chunky side lately. and i LOVE it!
loving music! i’ve known for a long time that you liked music. but this month you have been playing on the keyboard, bop-dancing, and making up lots of new tunes. in the van, i’ll often hear you making up a song, with the lyrics mamadadamamadada, and a wonderful catchy tune. i’ll have to start singing along, and we make a great duet! i hope that you will really want to sing with mama sometime in the future, in church or something. you seem to have an ear for music. you love to play the keyboard, and especially enjoy hitting the sample button and dancing to it. i hope gramma will teach you how to play the keyboard so that you can play better than mama. all i can do is mary had a little lamb. and silent night.
hair…still growing! your pretty blonde hair just keeps growing and growing. and it’s still just as light and just as soft. it gets pretty curly in the back! why just the other night i saw a perfect curl, that looked like someone had forced it to curl like that! you are quite the looker little man! i don’t know how mama will ever cut your hair!!!!
your anxieties (separation&stranger) are still pretty strong. you don’t like to be separated from your loved ones. you still get really upset and scared when you wake up in your crib. once mama or papa is in there you are fine again. i hope this doesn’t last too much longer, because it’s not easy on any of us, sweet munchkin! you are so in love with your gramma and grampa and of course mama and papa, but everyone else it takes you a while to warm up to. except for that one waitress the other day…still don’t know what that love affair was about…

your mama

please continue to pray for us all - jerry and i are pretty nervous, as small and simple a procedure it is, our baby will still be having a surgery and will be under anesthesia.

well i can hardly believe tomorrow will be jeremiah’s 10 month birthday as well as his tubes surgery. i found out details about the fasting deal. he can eat whatever he wants - food, breastmilk, formula, until 7am. he can have clear liquids - pedialyte, gatorade, water, until 10am. nothing after that. we are to be there by noon. the surgery is set for one. he is supposed to stay at least an hour after for the anesthesiologists to pronounce him ok to leave. during the time we are there, he can’t have anything other than clear liquids.
do you have any idea how hungry and grumpy he’ll be? not to mention how my poor breasts will be! i’m thinking of taking the pump, just in case!
i’m very thankful both my mom and jerry will be going with us! jeremiah will appreciate their presence as well, tho i know he won’t be able to express it.

i feel i should give a little more background about my sister. i’m afraid she is not just a normal account of a teenage mother-to-be. even though she is now 18, she has an extremely low iq and is mentally and emotionally at about a 6th grade level. you cannot tell by looking at her there is anything wrong. some people don’t even have a clue after they’ve met her and spoken with her. they just think she’s an immature teenager. they have no idea how selfish, childish and slow she really is. i know that her mental problems are not her fault. there is nothing she can do to help that. but she CAN help her attitude, and throughout my knowing her, she has only thought of herself. the times that she has been nice and kind, for the most part, are times that she wanted to get something from someone. i’m not saying she is ALL bad. she had some good qualities too. but she is DEFINITELY not a good candidate for motherhood. for one thing, i believe her driving force is jealousy. she has been SO jealous of me and my relationship with jeremiah. you could just SEE the resentment on her face sometimes. she really cared about jeremiah, or so i thought. since she left to live with her birth mom, i have only talked with her once, and it was not on purpose - she called my mom’s cell phone while i happened to have it. but she hasn’t called me to see how he’s doing, or to try to set up a visit with him, or anything.
another reason is her lack of responsibility and care. when she was holding jeremiah sometimes, when he was a tiny thing, she would grow very impatient and irritated with him over things that little babies have control over. like kicking, or wiggling, or crying, or spitting up. i remember one of these occasions and jerry and i looked at eachother, saying that we hoped she would not become a mother until she grew up, if she ever would grow up. she was also very wishy-washy with him. treated him like a toy - if she wanted to play with him, she would want him. when she got tired of him, she wanted us to take him back. that sort of selfishness does NOT work with your own child. a baby is NOT a toy to be put down just because you are tired of hearing it, or it doesn’t suit your mood at the moment.
i am by no means saying i am the perfect mother. but i have wanted to be a mom forever, and have taken care of kids for most of my life. and I felt insecure and inadequate as a mom - hey, i still do sometimes!
i am just truly afraid for this child and its safety. the home jannelle is in is NOT safe for her, let alone for a baby.
i do hope this grows jannelle up some. but at what cost? the cost of a poor baby as a guinea pig is not good enough for me.
i have so many thoughts about this that i just don’t want to share, because not one of you can truly understand the whole situation, no matter what i say. you only judge me and my feelings about it. so i’ll just end it now.

we had a very busy night tonight. we went to several discount stores to find a few things. found nothing we were looking for! but we did see a few toys we have our eyes on for jeremiah’s Christmas and birthday gifts.
they were mega blocks and fisher price blocks and peek-a-blocks and a musical platypus. LOL. who knows what will be jeremiah’s three Christmas gifts and what will be his birthday gifts. we still have lots of time in my opinion.
we went to ryan’s steakhouse and buffet to eat because we were famished and away from home and knew it would take too long to make anything. jeremiah fell in love with the waitress. he was staring at her and following her with his eyes no matter where she went. when she came to our table he was giggling and flirting and being all adorable. i had never seen him act that way with a stranger before. it was priceless. i wish i’d had my camera.

ok now for the sick feeling in my stomach. my mom called and said she had something to tell me. the first thing that went through my mind was “jannelle is pregnant” and…..i was right. my sister, the one who was adopted, the one who ran away to live with her birth mom, the one who was arrested for burning someone’s clothing, the one who’s birth mother tried to commit suicide while she was living with her…..she is pregnant. and her birth mother is thrilled. i don’t know what to feel. i feel sick. i feel disappointed. i feel sad. i feel horrible. i feel jealous (that she got pregnant without any problems and it took my husband and me three years to conceive). i feel worried for the poor baby. i love my sister, but she has disappointed me so much, and she will NOT be a good mother. i know her. so i am very worried about the baby. i don’t know who the father is or anything….
ok i am going to shut up now. i am just heartbroken over it i guess….please pray for her.

i came across this petition today and immediately signed it. who knows if it will make a difference, but it sure can’t hurt to support it. i know that we would probably have conceived much faster if insurance had covered my infertility problems.