i almost forgot to tell you that on the sidebar there are some new links. i’m going to click them each every day. two of them donates food to the hungry and the other gives money and supplies to women who are pregnant who might otherwise have abortions.

the click for cans is supported by campell’s soup, and you click on your favorite nfl or afl team helmet to donate. lol i thought that was kinda cool - get those men doing something worthwhile

so please click it at least once today - you can click one time every single day!

well i know it’s been a few days since i’ve posted something ‘real’ lol. i’ve been feeling discouraged again about the infertility thing. i know it’s in God’s hands, but why do i feel i need to try to hold on to it?
i was thinking about when/if i have to take the clomid. there also will be a hsg (i think) shot and an ultrasound. for some reason i wasn’t aware of that part. on top of that, we will be having kind of forced sex, as jerry calls it, every other day, and my emotions are supposed to be ten times worse than my period. yeah, that’s gonna be really romantic, huh.
i know some things have to be done because i long to be a mama, but i just wonder why. are we going too far here? isn’t making a baby supposed to be one of the most romantic things you do? isn’t it supposed to be sweet and tender and loving? isn’t it supposed to be something you are proud of?
not that i’m ashamed i will have to do this. it’s not my fault, it’s just something that happens. but i guess i feel a bit cheated. there are some women who can say, hey, let’s have another baby, and the next week they find out they’re pregnant. i HATE feeling jealous of people, but this is the one thing i so struggle with. i’m VERY happy for friends who become pregnant. i’ve not had a friend in my adult years who hasn’t been thrilled to discover they’re expecting a miracle. so i am happy for them. but it just makes my empty arms seem all the emptier, ya know?
on top of this, i feel guilty for feeling this way because i know other people have tried 3x as long as us and still don’t have a child. should i be whining when they are going through much more?
sigh. no, i haven’t started my period again, i’m just thinking out loud on here. i’m not in the depths of despair or anything, i promise. your continued prayers are SOO coveted. i know God wants me to learn something through this. probably patience, which for some reason i still haven’t picked up on LOL. you’d think after all this time, i’d get it LOL.
anyway, just please pray for me. if this week yields no ‘results’ i am NOT looking forward to next month’s clomid starting.
there is a good note to this. i had been feeling pretty alone in all of this because jerry has seemed aloof and not really too concerned with it. i cried on him big-time last night telling him i need him with me because i can’t go through this alone. so he said he was so sorry, he didn’t realize he hadn’t been supportive and he would do better. i really really needed that.
God bless you guys & have a great day

Tough Topic Thursday, Oct. 31 - F - Faith

Is faith important to you? If so, how do you live out your faith? Who is the Founder of your faith? Is there a difference between a ‘faith’ and a ‘religion’ in your eyes?

my faith is VERY important to me. my entire life is based upon it. my moral compass is derived from the Book of my faith, the Bible, so in my everyday life i strive to follow the Founder of my faith, Jesus Christ. I have always made sure that people know Christianity is not a religion, it’s a faith, because RELIGION is used as such an ugly word these days. ‘religious fanatics’ comes to mind. i know in the Bible religion is spoken of more kindly. still, a faith is what i like to call Christianity because it proves i’m believing in something, in someone, and that belief causes me to follow Him.

This-or-That: October 29, 2002

1. Apples or pears? green, granny smith apples…yummmm
2. Oranges or grapefruit? red juicy grapefruit…
3. Broccoli or cauliflower? i like both
4. Green beans or lima beans? green beans - lima beans are icky
5. Winter or summer squash? neither - don’t like squash
6. Blueberries or strawberries? i like both but strawberries are much better
7. Tomatoes or potatoes? tomatoes!!! but i like potatoes too
8. Peaches or plums? peaches
9. Peas or carrots? carrots
10. Asparagus or corn? corn - never had asparagus

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i have a big headache today! jerry is off work, so i won’t be on much i’ll be spending quality time with my dear sweet hubby

God bless you all…have a wonderful day!

i’m updating for rebekah and everyone else out there curious and praying.

just got back from the appointment, and as far as i can tell it went well! he prescribed clomid for me, along with the hsg shot that is supposed to go along with it.

unfortunately, i was right: since i already had my period for this month, i have to wait for my next period before i can begin using it. but, oh well. at least it’s all falling into place, right?

he congratulated me again on doing a great job with my insulin levels.

so all i can ask is that all of you continue to pray for us. pray that we’ll conceive this month WITHOUT anything, and that if we don’t do that, we’ll at least conceive next month. as always, pray according to His will. i am being really good about trying not to be impatient.

love to you all!

oops! when i was writing autumn i remembered something!!!!

please pray for me today! i have an appointment with the infertility doctor at 4:30 indiana time!!! he is supposed to put me on clomid, but we’ll see!!! just pray that it all goes well and something happens.

i will post back when we return whether it’s good news or bad.

thanks and God bless!

happy monday everyone

we had a pretty good sermon yesterday. it was about not worrying and being content with what we have. GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF US!!! one of my absolute favorite verses….but somehow i never listen to it!! Matthew 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. HOW TRUE IS THAT?! today has enough trouble of its own without worrying about tomorrow or the next day or the next!

sometimes i get so caught up in what i don’t have - a child, my own house, a car that works, a good tv, stereo, job, lots of money….i could go on and on….i don’t look at what i do have - God’s grace and salvation, a wonderful husband, a loving family, a place to stay, a precious puppy….again, i could go on and on. why is it that we in america, who have so much, want MORE? what is it in us that makes us so incredibly selfish? i believe it’s just human nature taking over again. but that brings me to the happy housewife book by Elizabeth Baker again. which, by the way, i found at amazon for a VERY good price, since it’s a small paperback! … last night i was reading more into it and came across something i’ve been struggling with, ever since my pastor brought it up at Bible study two weeks ago. it’s the idea of the human nature. according to paul, the old man is GONE. once we become Christians we are new creations - the OLD HAS GONE, THE NEW HAS COME. so if this is true - which it must be if it’s in the Bible - most of us are messing up somewhere along the line. my struggle has been this: how am i, who am only human, supposed to live as a true child of God? blameless and honorable in His sight?
this is where the happy housewife came in last night and turned the light on for me!
Not everyone receives the benefit of Jesus’ death for sins because not every man is willing to believe and be saved. Not every Christian receives the benefit of the death of his own old nature at Calvary because not every one will believe. If I had refused tobelieve that Jesus died for my sin, I would never have known freedom from the penalty of sin. If I refuse to believe that my old nature died with Jesus, I will never know freedom from the domination of that nature.
Does someone moan, “My old nature can’t be dead. I fight with it every day”?
Let me ask you a question. What weapons are you susing? Self-effort or faith? Paul says, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (merely human), but mighty through the pulling down of stronghilds” (2 Cor. 10:4). God instructs us to do battle with “the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” (Eph. 6:17). What could never be accomplished through effort is brought to reality by faith that His Word is true. And His Word says that our old nature has been crucified on Calvary.
After saying our old nature is dead, Paul turns right around and says “Likewise reckon ye also yrselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God” (Rom. 6:6, 11). The dictionary defines reckon as to count, to depend, to rely on. Paul is not contradicting himself. Our old man is dead; we are alive to God; but only as we reckon on those facts do they become effective in our daily lives.
Every time envy or jealousy, lust or fear, hopelessness or anger, or anything else from the old nature pokes into our minds, we need to immediately exercise faith in the written Word of God and say to the old nature, “You have no power over me. You are dead.” This exercise must be repeated daily, hourly, moment by moment, thought by thought.
At the same time, we need to affirm that we are alive to God. Or as we read in Ephesians 4:24, “Put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” To walk in the spirit or put on the new man or reckon we are alive unto God or to be filled with the Spirit are all statements that approach the same subject from different angles.
Scripture also says, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit” (Eph. 5:18). What a perfect comparison is used in this Scripture! When a person gets drunk, his body comes underthe control of alcohol. Many people experience a complete personality change when they are ‘under the influence’….A drunk man has voluntarily yielded his actions and thoughts to the control of another power, alcohol. We as Christians are to avoid that sort of intoxication but to voluntarily yield our thoughts and actions to the control of another Power, another Person, the Holy Spirit, who already lives within us. WHenwe say ‘no’ to the old man and count of the fact that he is dead, then voluntarily yield ourselves to the control of the Spirit, we are ‘walking’ in Christ.
This walking is completely different from everything we have known before. It is absolutely contrary to the old nature with which we were born. It will bring total opposition from our enemy, the devil. But it is the road to abundant life and to experiencing the power of God.

ok, stopping again for now. my hands, shew! lol. it just amazes me that this woman who is a little older than me is SO wise. it goes to show you what daily commune with God, in prayer and Bible study can do for one’s spirit. i admit that i don’t spend enough quality time with my Father. this is something i need prayer with.

well, i hope this was as eye-opening to you as it has been for me. i will continue to post varying bits of the book when i am struck by them, BUT i advise you to buy the book since it’s so cheap.

have a wonderful monday! God bless you!

i found some more quizzes! at autumn’s and amanda’s blogs woohoo - i’ve missed them. lol

	Love-a-Lot Bear You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

now for friday five…

1. What is your favorite scary movie? hmmm i love scary movies…i guess sixth sense and the others, though they weren’t overly scary

2. What is your favorite Halloween treat? don’t celebrate hallowee, but my favorite candies are chocolate and sour candies (now my mouth is watering!)

3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume. i don’t celebrate halloween. haven’t since i was about six years old. my family doesn’t believe we should be a part of it. but when i did dress up, i liked my little bo peep outfit…since i’ve always loved lambs

4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events? nope.

5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year?nope.

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and saturday eight (dare i, after last week?)…

1. What is your favorite Holiday? Why? probably Easter is my favorite, then Christmas, then Thanksgiving. because Easter is such a joyful time - Jesus has risen! He is ALIVE forever! it’s just comforting to me…i don’t do the easter bunny and other stuff like that. Christmas i love because it’s the time we celebrate His birth…my mom always makes a birthday cake for Jesus. Thanksgiving is great because family gets together - i believe we should be thankful to the Lord YEAR ROUND.

2. What is your least favorite Holiday? Why? halloween. because it’s not even a holiday - holiday means HOLY DAY and there’s nothing holy about halloween. i don’t like what it stood for when it began and i don’t think there’s any reason or point to celebrate it. it really ruins autumn for me, and that makes me sad because autumn is my favorite time of year.

3. Share with us one Thanksgiving and why it was so special. every thanksgiving is special to me. but they were always nicer when LOTS of family members got together. now it seems so lonely just being at my mom’s….i really miss my grandma more around holidays.

4. Share with us a joyful Christmas and why it was so special. see above. Christmas can’t not be special. it will be even more fun when we have kids!!

5. Share with us a crazy New Year’s and why it was so special. never really cared about new year’s. i always go to sleep before the ball drops LOL…but my mom’s cheeseball was a great memory LOL YUM

6. Share with us a sexy Valentine’s Day and why it was so special. we don’t usually make a big deal out of v-day because we want to be romantic all the time

7. If you are not into the Holidays… share a recent family get-together and why it was so special. when we celebrated jerry’s birthday at mom’s it was very nice and loving. it made me very happy and thankful that my family is now his family too. warm fuzzies!

8. And last, but not least…. write a list of 3-things that you want for Christmas sigh. well what i want or what i think is reasonable to want? lol. i would like a new tv, a new stereo and a digital camera. but anything i get will be fine - it’s not my birthday, it’s Jesus’!!!!

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well, wasn’t that fun. sorry i am no fun with those things LOL. i have to be honest though, right?

ok, can someone please tell me how to add the script to my site so no one can steal the graphics. someone said you had to put it in your meta tags. i tried it and nothing. help?

the book i was telling you about is so hard sigh. it seems that i forget what i’ve just read. hubby and i rearranged stuff in two of our rooms last night, and now there’s a small mess. i should clean it up….i will do so after i visit friends…

i thought i would put the autumn poem as well as the weekly pic up!

in case you’re wondering what’s up with all the baby pics of me, i am re-making a collage i made for my mom. i did it in college and used tape on the photo backs! yes, tape! how could i do this you ask? i have no idea. this is why i’m re-making it for mom CORRECTLY. and i’m going to use a real fram that costs money (unlike the piece of junk i originally used). this is part of her Christmas gift. so, again, this is one of the reasons i have baby pics of myself. the other is, i live in my grandma’s house. i was her first grandchild. do the math hehe.

i thought i would feature my adorable bubby josh, since my adorable bro jay was featured last week. (i always called josh bubby and jay bro…lol) i couldn’t decide between these two, so i’m posting them both LOL. he was so precious. and i’m also posting a most recent pic of the handsome man now.

well i’m sad that i can’t find my brother’s most recent handsome pic. see, he lost about 75 lbs! so i only have two sets of pics that are of his new self. i’ll keep looking and try to get it up sometime later.

A Stroll Down the Road
- Ruth H Underhill

There’s nothing as priceless along life’s way
As a stroll down the road on an autumn day.
The leaves form a carpet under your feet,
Such glorious colors your eyes will meet.

The squirrels are scampering to and fro
Preparing their homes for the long winter snow.
With acorns and nuts lying around,
They hurry and scurry along the ground.

The brook is babbling near your side
Murmuring, gurgling unable to hide,
From the winter days that lie ahead.
It will have to settle for an icy bed.

The picnic table alone and bare.
You can feel a nip of frost in the air.
The winding path now leads you away
From your stroll down the road on an autumn day.

–

don’t you love autumn strolls?

well i need to go out and do my hoppin’! God bless!

have a super saturday all!

wow, i have a lot to post today.

first of all, i worked a bit on my name page. lol. not much, but it’s still fun for me. here if you wanna see it.

secondly, i got my second award! it’s from my pal autumn. thanks sweetums!

thirdly, i put up a tagboard on tough topic thursdays so if you use it, please tag it.

Tough Topic Thursday, Oct. 24 - E - Euthenasia

What are your feelings and views about euthenasia? This is an extremely touchy subject…

i do not feel that euthenasia is ever right or moral. it is just the same as murder in my opinion. helping someone die is ridiculous. i am all for respecting a person’s wish when they decide they don’t want to be on life support anymore, or something like that, but to actually help someone die, be it an injection, pills, gun, knife, hanging, suffocation, whatever new strange thing people come up with, it is WRONG. i am not belittling anyone’s pain, i am not making light of someone dying from cancer, etc, but killing is killing, whether the person wants it or not. i don’t believe suicide is right either, but if someone takes their own life, it is on their own hands, not anyone else’s. euthenasia is sick.
there is more than just a moral hatred of it for me, because when people start accepting euthenasia when an elderly or deathly ill person requests it, it won’t be long before it’s required. i mean, the person who is dying will have no choice but to be put to death. and don’t tell me it won’t happen. you know just as i how disgusting and sick our world is. if we treat this as an acceptable ’service’ to dying and elderly now, pretty soon, we won’t have a choice when it’s our turn to die…

sorry to be morbid.

and now, for the reason i’m so pumped and excited: i am reading an INCREDIBLE book called The Happy Housewife by elizabeth baker. i suggest you look at your nearest Christian bookstore to find it…though i don’t know if it’s being sold anymore. it’s copyright 1975 lol. i found it at a garage sale.
anyhow, i’m going to post a little about what i read last night.
this section really hit home for me. although i don’t have any kids, i live with my grampa and my husband, whom i cook for, do dishes for, clean up after, wash laundry for, etc. (my hubby is a big help though, don’t get me wrong!) and truth be known, i HATE housework. all of it. there isn’t one thing i enjoy…except cooking, but even that is darkened by the clean-up afterward lol. but this chapter was an eye-opener for me. i thought i would share it in hopes it would encourage you as well, going about your daily drudgery of housework…

Clips, Paraphrases and Exerpts from The Happy Housewife by Elizabeth Baker

A Measuring Stick for Housewives
Two of the best ways I know to judge the value of anything is 1) how necessary is it? 2) what effect has it on the lives of others?
What about housework? Is it necessary? Yes! If the kitchen is not cleaned, rotting food breeds disease. If clothes are not cared for, they quickly become soiled, ragged, and a disgrace to the family. If the beds are not made and floors cleaned, members of the household become ashamed of their home, embarrassed to invite friends there. Housework is necessary.
What effect does it have on others? When given with a willing attitude, it makes home a pleasant place to be and sys very clearly that mother cares about the people who live there. A Christian home is the greatest earthly resource society has. If it were not for Christian homes and godly mothers, this world would have caved in long ago. As a Christian mother goes about her daily tasks of laundering, cooking, bedmaking, and kissing children’s bruises, she is like a mason working with bricks. Each tiny piece may be unimportant of itself, but when each piece is carefully set in place and mortared together with love, we form something solid and unmovable, a Christian home.
Jesus bought all of me when I became a Christian. From my self-righteousness to my hang-ups to my dirty dishes. When I recognized this as true, Jesus changed my life. As part of that, He changed my housekeeping too. Oh, I still don’t like to do dishes. But housework has changed from an unhappy burden to an opportunity to serve Him by serving others. Doing dishes is not so bad. It’s a good time to memorize scripture verses, sing praises to the Lord or look out the window for a few minutes to thank Him for morning sunshine. And wen the last spoon is dried and put away there is a feeling of accomplishment in a job well done.
There is nothing shameful about serving in the home. There is no reason for a woman to feel that she must apologize for saying housewife when asked her occupation. Jesus stated, “But whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let m=him be your servant. Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:26-28). Jesus came to serve other and felt no shame in doing so, for He gave them an example of the value of humble service. Respect is something someone gives you, but dignity is a quality of spirit that comes from within. When we perform our tasks with dignity, we are more likely to be given respect by those we serve.

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would you like to hear more tomorrow? i feel like i just began getting into the great part, but my hands are falling asleep with all the typing lol. i can’t tell you what finding this book has done for me. it’s bringing the truths of the Bible, what God wants in a godly wife, woman and mother, right to life in practical ways for me. i no longer have to think of housework as lowly or something that i have to do. i can think of it as serving the Lord by serving my family. something that i always KNEW in my head, but never in my heart, you know?

well, i’m going to go work on serving big time. i’ll be singing and praising while i do it, so i’ll be even closer to the Lord.

God bless you! have a great day serving in whatever you do!

yes i am still here! been doing changes on other sites and such. as well as totally cleaning my bedroom. but i’m doing well!

before i do the this or that, i have a request: anyone who listens to and loves southern gospel, please tell me what i should sing on sunday night! we’re having a gospel sing and it’s not my style of music at all, but pastor still wants me to sing…sigh. any help, leave me a comment.

This or That:

The Cosby Show or A Different World? i loved both of them, but i must say i liked the cosby show better.

Happy Days or Joanie Loves Chachi? happy days! never even watched joanie loves chachi ever!

Cheers or Frasier? i like frasier better because it’s not based in a bar lol but i don’t watch it much.

Beverly Hills, 90210 or Melrose Place? neither, but i loved 90210 for a while as a teen.

Real World or Road Rules? neither. i watched both for a while, but it was too nasty for me most of the time. (cussing, sex, etc)

Law & Order: SVU or CI? i love vincent d’nofrio (sp) so i like svu

The Osbournes or The Anna Nicole Show? EW ! neither - both are disgusting sickos - the commercials make me change the channel they’re so gross.

Diff’rent Strokes or The Facts of Life? hmmmm i love both. can’t choose.

VeggieTales or 3-2-1 Penguins!? veggie tales are THE BOMB but penguins are really really funny too!

Degrassi or Degrassi: the Next Generation? is this degrassi jr high? that’s the only degrassi i’ve heard of. hmmm - ?

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well i have to get on with laundry.

God bless you all!